Seven Years-Part 4

Trisha’s side:

I checked the heartbeat for one last time before going to sleep. Even though I knew I would not get any sleep. I looked at the little girl lying in the cot and wondered what I had done to deserve something as severe as this. Was it because of the fight seven years ago? Did Ria curse me so badly? Did she ever want my child to be deformed? It was not new that I was thinking about Ria again. This was not the first time. Since the time I have come back to India I have been thinking of calling her and apologising. I was harsh and unreasonable. I don’t know every time I called Ananyaa to take Ria’s number I just couldn’t. Did I blame her for everything that happened? Do I still do? Or is it just ego?

Isn’t it time that I put all this ego behind me and made a new beginning. A new start. Why is it so hard? Why do I always want her to make the first move? Why can’t I make it? Is it so difficult? It was not entirely my fault seven years ago and it was not entirely her’s either. We both were to be blamed. I over reacted but she could have talked to me and sorted things out. Why didn’t she? Did she not consider me a friend good enough to keep for life. She did keep her friendship with Ananyaa but it wasn’t Ananyaa who fought with her. I did!

I reached for my phone and was about to dial Ananyaa’s number again when I heard a cry from the cot. The universe was giving me signs not to call her. Maybe it was for the best that I didn’t.

Luck And Destiny: Made or Written?

Scene 1

ABC: Oh my god!!!! U topped. You are so lucky.

XYZ: Its not luck. I did work very hard for it.

Scene 2

ABC: Listen its okay. I know u never expected to get such low marks.

XYZ: I worked so hard. I was just UNLUCKY.

Luck. How do u define luck? Is it me or normal human behavior that everytime something goes wrong we blame our luck. And this so called luck only takes a back seat when something good happens in life. So a question to all of you is it me, human nature or just a young adult hormonal thing?

Moving on, everyone says “you are destined to do something important in life, you just haven’t found what it is till now.” Okay now this is really weird. If I am destined to make a huge mark on the society how is it that I have to make a path for it to happen? Isn’t my destiny supposed to lead me to it. I am not saying grab me by the hand and take me to it but atleast lighting the path would do the job or showing a flickering light in the tunnel would be good enough.

Destiny and luck are they two related terms? Are they different? Are they as different as chalk and cheese? Or as similar as Coke and Pepsi? And how is it decided? Am I fool thinking about this. Lastly, do you believe in destiny or luck?

I, presently, have no opinion

A little help would be considerate! Thanking You!

Seven Years-Part 3

For once Mr. Anderson’s talks were not putting me off to sleep. I wouldn’t say I could comprehend everything he said. Okay honestly, none of it was making sense as usual. And this time it was not because he talked in too technical terms but it was because I wasn’t paying any attention. I couldn’t wait to get back home pack my begs and head off to Ria’s place. I couldn’t wait to meet her and tell her everything. Telling everything was not a very happy story but still the fact that she wanted to listen made me happy.

My cell phone beeped with a message which read “Really? And what happened to punctuality? No you are staying over. Love, R.” I was already an hour late and it was going to take me 15 minutes more.

After the dinner when Ria and I had settled on the couch we started talking and after the customary how is work and everything she asked “So what is it about Trisha that you wanted to tell me? How come she is all broke now?”

“Ria, Recession and a lot of other things hit Trisha. She has a daughter who is barely 7 months old.”

“What? When did she get married? You never told me she was married.”

“She got married right after graduation when she was in the States studying MBA. Remember I told you about her boyfriend?”

Ria nodded.

“Well it so happens she got married to him and never told anyone. He was her business partner. Well, Ria it so happens that her daughter has a disease. A deadly disease that you are well aware of Thalassemia. Look Ria she has tried every possible doctor in the US and none of them have a cure for the disease. I know your mother is a doctor and she went for a conference in Russia and has a clue about the people who are doing a research on this disease. Would it be possible that you give the number to Trisha? It would more than useful to her. “

“One minute, she couldn’t call me up and ask for the number herself? She sent you?”

“No no! Ria no way. She has no clue that I have come to you for help. She is presently in India with James and her daughter. Please Ria she is just a little baby. Please put all this aside and think about the life of that child. It is not the time to keep teenage issues alive.”

Ria was looking at the mirror the whole time that I was talking. She kept looking at it for almost an eternity and then spoke. The words that came out of her mouth were the most precious words ever. She said, “Lets go mom must be awake we will take the number from her now and go and visit Trisha tomorrow itself.”

By the time Trisha’s mom found the number it was almost 12 30 in the night.

“Oh! I can’t wait to go to Trisha tomorrow and give this number. I can just picture her smile.”

“Ananyaa, I would like to come with you and visit her. I want to meet her. IF am putting all this aside I want her to put it aside as well.”

If giving the number was going to earn her a ticket to heaven, this was going to give her the throne of god.

“Yes! We will leave for her house first thing tomorrow morning.”

To be continued....

Seven years- Part 2

"Yes, Mr. Anderson I want to cancel the meeting. I am very sorry for the inconvenience. Could we reschedule it? Oh great. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Thank you so much, Mr. Anderson.” Just as I am about to put my phone back in my bag I hear a familiar voice.

“Cancelled out on a male client to meet me. Wow! Either you have been missing me too much or the male client is not cute. I go for the second option. And can u stop looking at your watch I am pretty aware of the fact that I am an hour late. I will never understand that time is money. Anyway, how have you been?” said Ria in one long breath.

“I have been good. You should tell me all about your Goa trip. How was it?”

“No first we talk about the phone call that I got today morning. You know I am not a morning person but even for my mom 4 o’clock in the morning is a little too early for chit chat on the phone. So whats wrong?”

"Why would you think something is wrong? Can’t I just call my friend because I was missing her. Do I always have to have a reason to call an old friend. The world has become cheap I tell you.”

I could see Ria was not buying my story and her ever fast brain had formulated a lot of possibilities. And possibilities which I would never guess unless she told me.

“Ananyaa, look if you have some financial problems you can always ask me for help. I have no problems as such. Please don’t hesitate.”

“Oh my god! No no. Its got nothing to do with that. I am actually here to talk about Trisha.”Ria looked as though I had stabbed her with a knife.

After a long pause Ria spoke, she said, “Okay. So what about her? Is she in India? Why would you suddenly want to mention someone I haven’t talked to for seven years?”

“Ria look this is important. This is higher than Rahul. This is way above him. You cannot let the mere teenage issues affect what I am going to tell you right now.”

“Let me guess her ever blooming business in the states has become even more blooming right? And this is way above Rahul how?”

“Her business isn’t blooming now.”

“Oh! That is sad. Recession hit her too? Well too bad it hit everyone.”

“Ria this is much more than recession. Can you, for once, not just think about that day and try and listen?”

“Ananyaa, I might remind you I didn’t start the fight.”

“It doesn’t matter who started the fight. You both were wrong in your own ways. I just want you....”

“Wait a minute you think I was wrong. Wow! Thats great. That is just amazing.” Ria put down the money for her coffee and walked out of the restaurant.

I could see my self as the 17 year old me, still stuck between two friends. I had no clue what to do now. Ria was my last hope and she refused to listen to me. She had walked out on me. Infact she reacted the same way as the 17 year old Ria would have reacted. I had no idea I would trigger off the same emotions in Ria that were prevalent when she was 17. I had guessed she had grown out of it. But then I can see I was wrong. I put down my cup of coffee paid the bill and walked out of the coffee shop.

It has been a week since I met Ria and almost two week since I last met Trisha. I honestly couldn’t meet Trisha after the whole Ria incident. For some strange reason I felt guilty of telling Ria bits a pieces about Trisha. I am sipping my coffee when my phone beeps with a message. It is by Ria. I read it over and over again just to be sure that I was reading right. I messaged back and left the coffee shop with a victory smile on my face. I had not won yet but it was the first step to success. I was going to meet Ria tonight at her place and she wanted to know everything I wanted to tell her that for old times sake. This is what the message read. I was going to preserve the message forever.

To be continued..

I have changed!

I guess now that I am entering into my last of teens ( yes I am growing old) I want to write more about some serious stuff and not just the normal teenage issues of rejection, first relationship, first crush or further on. Please don't get me wrong I loved writing about all this and will continue with it but with a deeper meaning to it atleast I shall try to add deeper meaning to it. I am changing and so is my blog name. As "My life as a teenager" comes to an end today I want to go back to my first post (which has been deleted by now). I remember sitting on my bed at 2 in the morning and writing it on a crumpled piece of paper and the next day without knowing I had made a blog. Blogging came to me naturally. This is where I was myself and didn't need to worry about what people would think. People read, they commented and encouraged me to write. As months past by "My life as a teenager" grew and I grew with it. It matured in some stages and I matured as a person. "My life as a teenager" taught me how to take criticism, like I have said before I became a new person with every post. Its with a heavy heart that I bid good bye to "My life as a teenager" and a hearty warm welcome to "I paint with words."

Seven Years- Part 1

Seven years since they last spoke to each other. Seven years since their fight.

Is it time yet?

Is it the right time to tell her?

Do u think it will affect her?

Do u think it will bother her today? It has been seven years after all.

Does she even remember her? No, of course she remembers her. It’ll actually be shocking if she has completely forgotten her.

I remember 31^st March 2003 as though it was yesterday.

The sun shone brightly in the sky and the 17 year old me had woken upto the chirping birds. I couldn’t wait to get out of bed and hop into the car. Afterall today was the day me, Trisha and Ria were to go on our picnic. A picnic before the dreaded 12^th std started. Little did I know that this outing would turn out to be a nightmare. I put on my best pair of jeans with a red top and sneakers. I want to get out of the house as soon as I could. But the glass of milk and bread stopped me in my plans. My mother was one person, who would never let me leave the house on an empty stomach. As a routine to please her and see her ever shining smile I sit down at the table and finish the breakfast.

I reach Ria’s house a little before 9 o’clock. The day seems perfect for the picnic with the sun shining bright in the sky and not a cloud in sight. It seemed to be the perfect day. Ria, as a habit, was running late and her phone was ringing off the hook with calls only from Trisha. I, sometimes, envied the bond that Trisha and Ria shared. They were the best friends one could ever meet. They knew understood each other well but were as different as chalk and cheese. Ria the perfect supermodel with the world’s best manicured nails and clothes whilst Trisha the captain of the school volleyball team, who had never touched nail paint let alone manicured nails. I guess they say opposites attract.

“Ok Ok! We are leaving in two minutes.” Ria entered the room with the phone in one hand and hand sanitizer in the other. Ria took her bag and with a smile said “we better leave before Trisha brings her whole house down.” Within a few minutes we were in the car, driving to Trisha’s place.

We get down the car and take in the fresh air of the picnic spot. The sun was shining more brightly now. We take our baskets filled with sandwiches and muffins and pick the spot under the tree. Under the shade of the tree we started talking.

“So, from tomorrow we start 12^th standard. How do u guys feel?” Ria pulled a face and Trisha just smiled.

After a long pause Trisha said, “I don’t know. I think I am going to miss it after it’s over. You know the being called to principal’s office every day, the volleyball team and of course us.” What do u mean us? We won’t let u miss us.” retorted Ria. “We’ll be right here to remind u that we exist if u forget us. Anyway I have something to tell you guys. I am dating someone since a month.”

Trisha and I eyed each other with suspicion. Ria’s list of boyfriends were longer than her shopping list and that is saying something.

Ignoring our looks Ria continued with her story. “So, I am dating Rahul. He asked me out last month duing our finals and I couldn’t tell you people because we were so busy studying. Anyway, he is so cute no? And I am telling you.......”

I had lost Ria completely by now as my focus had shifted to Trisha, who looked as though she was experiencing a lot of emotions right now.

I was fervently wishing Ria would stop talking and notice that she had lost Trisha and me by now. I wished Ria would see what I could see right now and what everyone in school thought was true. I had started to realise now that what everyone talked behind Trisha’s back was true. I could see it clearly that she liked Rahul, no matter how much she tried to hide it I could now see it clearly.

“Hello? Hello? Ananyaa are you with me? Trisha? Am I talking to myself?” Ria looked annoyed now. She had, as always, expected her friends to be happy for her. I, personally, had no idea whether to be happy or sad.

After what seemed like an eternity Trisha spoke and could only say, how can you date Rahul? I could see the tears in Trisha’s eyes. Ria was, clearly, not expecting this reaction .

“Wha... What do you mean? He is a nice guy.” Trisha was shaking with anger now and tears started flowing down her cheek. She spoke through her sobs and all I could comprehend was “Ria I like Rahul. How could u ever do this to me? How can you date him?”

“But, Trisha I didn’t know you liked him. If I knew..”

“If I knew then what would u have done Ria? You are my best friend I thought you would understand that I like him. I thought you would get it that I like him.” Trisha’s voice had reached a new octave by now.

“What do you expect out of me Trisha? Do you expect me to be a mind reader? If you liked him you should have told me. I am no Psychic you know.”

“I think its time we left for home. I don’t want to sit here with a friend who betrayed me. A friend who knows she is wrong but will never accept it. Come on Ananyaa.”

Before I could make my mind whether to get up or sit down Ria got up and said, “even I want to go home now. I don’t want to be here. Infact Trisha it would be better if we never spoke again.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more Ria. Let’s just tolerate each other the way back home. Come on Ananyaa.”

The way back home seemed longer than ever. I didn’t know how to react to the situation. I was stuck between two friends. I didn’t know who was right and who was wrong. I didn’t know whose side to be on. I could hear my mom’s words clearly now “As you grow up, you will realise sometimes in a fight it’s not one person’s fault.”

I could see that today. Trisha was right in her own way and so was Ria. I had expected them to start talking by the time we reached home but they didn’t. They didn’t talk the next week. They didn’t talk for the next 7 years.

Today, on the 19^th of November 2010 I am sitting in my office beyond the working hours. I have a cup of coffee in one hand and the cell phone in the other. I have been staring at the same phone number since the past 5 hours, contemplating whether to call or not. A part of me wants to tell her everything but another part of me is scared what if she doesn’t care anymore? With fumbling fingers I press the green dial button. It was 4 in the morning, a sleepy voice answered my call, “Hullo.”

“Hi Ria. This is Ananyaa.”

To be continued...

Untitled

Even after reaching the classroom breathless my eyes are searching for you amidst the twenty people present. My heart skips a beat when I spot your wavy black hair. I walk upto my desk in the best possible manner passing by you wishing you would notice me. On the other hand, you are busy cracking a joke with your friends. How is that even when I look my best you don't notice me?

Even when I spend an hour getting ready you don't look at me?

The teacher enters and class starts. As usual you are called to the front bench. You walk up to the front desk with dreamy eyes and a bored expression on your face. Honestly, would it hurt to pay attention for a while? It would just help you but you are not the kinds. You will sit on the first bench and crack as many jokes as possible. Everyone laughs at them but I wish just once you would turn around and see that I was the one who was laughing the heartiest. Just once maybe you would notice that when you are flirting with the hottest girl in class a part of me dies. A simple "hi" from you would make my day but I seem to be Miss Non-existent for you. Why? Oh! Why is the world so mean to me?

Well........ seems like a story close to you? In our teenage years, we all have fallen for atleast one guy who has never noticed us. It seems like the end of the world then, but lets sit down and think about it. What if he had said "hi" to you? What if he had complimented you on your looks? What if he turned around and saw you laugh? Do you think you would have gone out with him? Do u think he was the guy to go out with? For once lets look at the other side. Maybe its better he didn't say hi to you. Maybe its a good thing that you are Miss Non-Existent for him. Maybe he was a guy you wouldn't have liked at all. Think about it what if Mr. Cute guy in class was Mr.Moron suddenly. Think about it who would you stare at and day dream? Maybe its for your own good that he doesn't notice you. Keep it that way. I, personally, have started believing that every crush doesn't necessarily have to turn into a relationship. Keep it (or rather him :P) as a crush. A crush who you can stare at in a boring lecture.

So, Happy crushing to you and me. =D

PS: Need a title for this post! Suggestions are welcomed (rather suggestions are needed).